Friday, May 24, 2013
artist: right now
it aint been good. sleep is off. trying to write in the night. smoke breaks under the stars. birds chirpn. it's kinda nice but aint nothing coming. none of that deep extra I find myself wallowing in. meanings of this, meaning of that. theories and conclusions and shit. archetypes and metaphors. aint nothing coming. life's got me stunned. I'm caught between having what I want and self-destruction for the sake of creativity. I'm sure my justification is valid. let's see, we all gonna go so I'ma go on my own terms. But then I'm on that eastern; give over to the univierse. let it dictate your move. the signs is fuzzy. aint sure I'm reading em right. I should probably clean up my desk. no, I need to write. I need to write. Moms is finally sleep. she went off tonight. I aint hear her when she went out the door. 3'oclock in the morn, in the rain. she banging to get in the door. the door is open. what are you doing outside in the rain at 3am? why you talking to me like that? you always beat me up. conversation done. she cry and kick things till she's tired. I pretend I don't hear. take an el the head. blow the smoke up. anxiety, gotta let it out. wanna punch something. make it feel me. make the earth move. make somebody change their direction. wanna affect something. I need blank sheet of paper. a need a smooth point pen. I need to stop typing and...