Friday, May 24, 2013
it aint been good. sleep is off. trying to write in the night. smoke breaks under the stars. birds chirpn. it's kinda nice but aint nothing coming. none of that deep extra I find myself wallowing in. meanings of this, meaning of that. theories and conclusions and shit. archetypes and metaphors. aint nothing coming. life's got me stunned. I'm caught between having what I want and self-destruction for the sake of creativity. I'm sure my justification is valid. let's see, we all gonna go so I'ma go on my own terms. But then I'm on that eastern; give over to the univierse. let it dictate your move. the signs is fuzzy. aint sure I'm reading em right. I should probably clean up my desk. no, I need to write. I need to write. Moms is finally sleep. she went off tonight. I aint hear her when she went out the door. 3'oclock in the morn, in the rain. she banging to get in the door. the door is open. what are you doing outside in the rain at 3am? why you talking to me like that? you always beat me up. conversation done. she cry and kick things till she's tired. I pretend I don't hear. take an el the head. blow the smoke up. anxiety, gotta let it out. wanna punch something. make it feel me. make the earth move. make somebody change their direction. wanna affect something. I need blank sheet of paper. a need a smooth point pen. I need to stop typing and...
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
fear is a warning and I'm scared I wake in the morning not sure about how and where. what and why. living to live prepared to die but I'm scared and I don't know why maybe I'm ill prepared for every days how the earth move stay with me, maybe I just go gainst the grain. that's what the birth do me me, that live in the fear. FUCK yo know what, I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that, there. I'm afraid…. you took me wrong like I'm hooked on a bong fight over a wrong look, a song A book... be gone. sing me the wind, son. sing me the discourse of the force to be with. but I came across a sea on a bed of broken glass somebody close the window I'm cold, and losing faith fast. who too put organic voodoo invention in condensed apprehension eyes closed to the tension. lies. the night time news is an up to the minute invention. the prime time views, based on numbers of no limit, the only intention, with no disguise. I'm afraid to say something. I drink a glass a water bend deep over my cereal peep people crossing past my window in my peripheral I turn on the radio. instead I see the golden ratio everywhere I aint had no liquor no beer no tree. All I see is spiraling circles and in the center is me. Fear is a warning and I'm scared I'm shook to the bone bout whats going on. theres definitely fear in the air. I should just probably sit hear in my chair click open my face full of friends and pretend like I care. my ends is bare. leave my house for what? I'm riddled with fear. only motivation, no job no chair so I spit all of ladi-dadi from out of the air jump in the shower. brush my teeth comb my hair jump on my train, be kinda late again That Rakim playlist bouncing my ear I live for this or this is for what I live why isn't this bliss, its just fear of the limits of what I can give the cat cross me right there. I wonder if he feel the fear I wonder if his thunder got rain showers near do the powers that be care about me, that lives in the fear. me, that hides behind a tree afraid of what I see
Talk hot off till its all shot off. every thought caught in the vault of the shiny show off, off. Take all of your belongings off All these things we gotta have halved and infinite of nothing worth all you can carry on the train platfom in a bad part of town, blind, alone, in the night. your 7inch Loubotins'll get stuck in these cobble stones head tangled with booty bounce poems in the headlights. dance to celebrate! Sweat to the spirt of beats. I told my lawyer true deeps ain't got nothing to refer to nothing to think on when that mind race and the heart beat all u you feel is the now The wave pattern got u thinking on now. That repetitive action ain't the distraction. It fills the now. tomorrow and yesterday don't measure to the pleasure of specific feelings calculated down to the ceiling of a second. Weapons of destruction flow from those who hold onto the constructions and dealings of the past. Talk hot off. How do we make them good feelings last? By walking through the woods across the broken glass to a tomorrow defined by the deeds of today. and hey, if that bag u pass in that window makes you throw you head back and feel some relief, if that blinged out case for your iPhone5 help you to survive, if that Bourghati lease help you to further understand peace, then you need to cop that, now, no matter the cost, no matter the how But talk hot off to the bare essence of what the spirit will allow less you love it but don't love it cuz of how you look in it look good in it cuz o how you love it. keep the sanity above it or you gone revolve to rage, devolve a stage sending garbage to a deeper state of thought mending the wounds around the diamond harness from whence you was caught. till hence we was bought. till the brain density was wrought with the intense religiosity of naught the haute couture of the future is the new black the paradox of wack the paradigm shift to uplift a stack to somebody pocket while you cop cheap fabric from the retail up the block who get his from the outlet who get his from a can off a boat on the dock that came from China, who devalue they dollar to make you holla 'gottdamn the shit is hot. but talk hot off till its all shot off. every thought caught in the vault of the shiny show off, off.
time after time I pen rhyme after rhyme digging deep into the deep confines of the mind looking for the perfect beat the right waveform to think on the feet while the music is blasting the sacrifice of passion time after time I pen rhyme after rhyme searching for that universal sign I aint got no qualms with how the universe go all I see is circles and thats all I know. time after time I pen rhyme after rhyme time after time I pen rhyme after rhyme time after time I pen rhyme after rhyme looking for the perfect beat: an expedition to seek and define the picturesque purpose, seeking the sword falling worth from end back to birth found the infinite curse in the garden scarring the ignorance with the truth I never wanted to know now I know, the proof of the said truth and it's existence in the infamous infinity, to pinpoint, like an epiphany, the life span of a flake in the snow. but the brain is finite Life standing in the middle of nowhere nowhere to the left nowhere to the right. life is a question of what you are supposed to do the purpose and wrath to defend the day and night from who? survive to strive to make a step towards nowhere in a prada shoe nothing goes and nothing stays this is life's have. this is the worth of our time. time after time, after time i pen rhyme after rhyme.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Monday, October 15, 2012
(this was my response on FB)
This annoys the piss out of me. Of course now commie is the code word for nigger. America is the richest country on Earth because of hundreds of years of slave labor. And black people generations later still have the scars of self hatred to prove it. There would be no America, no freedom for these old crackers and ofays if it was for the pain our ancestors endured. I can understand ignorant racism. Some people just can come out the past. But to use communism to mask their racism is straight fucking wrong. On a level that boils my blood. Bitch should be kissing Barack's feet for NOT throwing up some secret gang sign on TV to signify all black people to attack. I guess it's been growing to this point. Was in an elevator the other day when two white women were comparing iPhone cases and one was say how much she hates the one she has now because it gets so dirty. And all I was thinking about was this 14 year old girl in Afghanistan who gets shot in the head by the Taliban because see thinks girls should've alleged an education. I got a fucking Troll on my FB who wants to lecture me about all the atrocities that Obama is committing in Africa. I ask him have u ever been to Africa, he says he doesn't need to go to africa to know what's going on there. This fucking country and its #firstworldproblems with these spoiled rotten care bear soft skinned hippy dippy devils trying to tell me something about the world. Arghhh... every couple months or so I go off. My closest white friends know and understand. -goRealer