The art of enclosure: Surviving a bid

These walls work in my favor forging me as steele as I push for freedom.
I got knocked on the humble for smoking an el out front SPA one night- summer of 98 or so. I was twist and happy. Things is good, I’m celebrating. Life got purpose. I’m making more than decent chedar. Honey’s is checking for me, I’m swaggering. Blah blah blah go the talk between me and my mans and them out front SPA, el ash on the ground. Then up jump detects right when I’m bout to verbally punctuate my next move in life. Badge in my face, mouth full of smoke, the realization, the loss of control.

Now jail is about the realist place on earth. In terms of realty defined as basic human process. It’s a place where you come face to face with yourself. We’re all journeying towards the true us.

That right there was the foundation of my high. I mean I had smoked some serious chron.

So I’m like “Fuck all you detec mother fuckers. I ain’t do shit!” all loud and shit. The type loud where the spit come out with the capital ‘F’ and all that up in my head where they couldn’t hear me. You see I been here before and I know I gotta do this calm.

When you’ve lost control, one night can feel like 15 years.

African-American males in prisons and jails in the U.S. outnumber the amount of African-American males enrolled in higher education in the U.S., 583,000 to 537,000.

9.7% of black non-Hispanic males age 25 to 29 were in prison in 2000, compared to 2.9% of Hispanic males and about 1.1% of white males in the same age group.All I could think about was finding some sort of control in the absence of it.

I sat easy in the back of the van with the cuffs on, tight. “Don’t move around too much cause them handcuffs’ll squeeze on you”, officer such n such said. In my head again I’m like “fuck you” real loud. “take that with you. Hope it make you feel bad”. But I weigh that against how bad this is making me feel. Don’t want them cuffs cutting in my wrists, my body expand when my anger get up. Now things in my head change. I wanna say “these cuffs fucking hurt!” But I know they’ll act like they don’t hear me.
1.46 million black men out of a total voting population of 10.4 million have lost their right to vote due to felony convictions.Now young next to me, sitting up against the doors, looking straight up at the ceiling, shook, sweating, scared. this his first time. He mumbling mad words up under his breath,
“ah fuck man … I can’t belieeeeeve this shit, oh my Goddddd! I ain’t even do nothing. Them cracks wasn’t even mine!”

In captivity you begin to fashion your mind to things like GOD and delusions.

Then young lost it. He lost his cool and kick his foot against the side of the van with a BIG F word. He said some nasty real foul shit, offend everybody: me, the detecs and the other two in the back of the van with us, slumped and complacent.
The MAN say,
“I told you about making all that noise back there”.
I makes sure he know I ain’t had nothing to do with the thud young made with his foot and the foulness he saying. I’m starting to loose the feeling in my thumb and every play I make is about me getting these cuffs off as soon as possible.
African-Americans constitute 36.8% of those arrested for drug violations, over 42% of those in federal prisons for drug violations and almost 58% of those in state prisons for drug felonies.Young finally calmed from his tirade. There’s desperate beaded sweat on his forehead and his eyes is red. One of his over worn Nike airs is half off. His white tee is dingy and there’s a huge Cubic zirconia stud in his ear. He got the evil nigga look on now. He give it to each next nigga that come up in the van.
African-Americans are incarcerated more than six times that of whites -- 1,947 per 100,000, compared to 306 per 100,000.

The U.S. rate of incarceration has increased by 22 percent since 1989, and is about 5-8 times the rate of most industrialized nations. Property crimes and assaultive offenses don’t account for the increase nor do the violent crimes that rate higher in the U.S. than anywhere else, but the “war on drugs” and “three strikes” crimes have accounted for 46 percent of new court commitments since 1980.My high came down right as I was getting my desk warrant at the station. I talked my way out of having to spend the weekend in the tombs. As I was leaving, I heard young mouthing off again. He ain’t gonna see day for a minute and I’m on my way the spot to get me a nick b4 I head home.

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